Bullsh** U - Our Great Fall Courses

The following great fall courses will be offered:

JOURNALISM
There will be no journalism offered. However, if you have passed Building Your Ego 101, Big Fish-Little Pond Politics, Small Town Theanthropic Theorum (4) or can clep either Advanced Material & Social Palm Greasing or Co-opting the Fourth Estate AND be willing to offer either monetary or in-kind remuneration, the Dean of Journalism will be certain to print ONLY what you want in the school paper.

ADVANCED MANAGEMENT SKILLS
This course will cover how to convince the people to do whatever you wish. The classroom doors for this course will be closed at all times and note taking is strictly prohibited. All course work, including mock meetings, networking sessions with the Political Communication, Journalism and Public Oratory Skills students, as well as the final test, will be oral ONLY.

POLITICAL STUDIES
You will learn to fluently curse constituents, how to effectively slam phones down on callers, master the regal art of hand waving for a variety of political uses such as calling the school security to your aid and removal of unwanted individuals from your presence, master blank stares for use in public meetings, learn the fine art of public temper tantrums, and how to quickly issue orders for such necessary political communiques such as deleting of files, disappearance of paperwork, stonewalling requested information, revision of public meeting reports and total recreation of paper trails. Prerequisite courses: Public Oratory Skills, History of the One Man Dynasty OR Women of Poor Self-esteem and their Role in Politics and Fund Raising and at least one agricultural lecture course, i.e., 'How to Get Funding for Your Own Personal Shelter', 'The Expected Number of Animal Deaths Acceptable Ratio for Development of a Dog Park' or 'How to Convince the Neighbors You're Doing Something Good For the Animals When You Have No Animal Skills or Knowledge'.

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT
Learn how to stage hostile take-overs of non-profit organizations and what it takes to successfully insert your family, friends or business associates, to whom you owe or promise favors, into jobs that were held by others. Master the art of working with those who have ulterior motives, questionable ethics, hidden connections and a degree in Self-Serving Hubris.

SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY
The first half of this course covers the small, but interesting, tribe of the Wannabe. Learn their social mores and taboos such as, how wealth DOES make a difference in the Wannabe culture, their back scratching ritual, the annual suck-up festival and their convoluted and incestuous relationships with their nearest neighbor, the Iknowiam, a hostile tribe with a fanatic religion that emphasizes self-Godlike delusion, shunning, repression of those not of their group, denial and falsehood. The final for this course will involve a paper comparing the two societies and their interrelatedness and how it adversely affects/effects the other populace in the region, both human and animal.

COMMUNICATION
This course will cover how to build a solid relationship with any of the media, how to suppress information by networking, how to create disinformation that really works, as well as how many times one must repeat a lie to make it truth.

Our Theater Department wishes to announce that try-outs for the part of the Asp in 'Cleopatra' will be held after the holidays (this is a woman's part).
Also, that they are in need of an ass for their holiday tableau.

PLEASE REMEMBER THE SCHOOL WILL BE CLOSED DURING STUDENT ELECTIONS